Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Pages from my Art Journal...

Catching up...


It's been such a long time since I've written in here. Over six months!
Last time I wrote was just before Mark's birthday on May 1st. Tegan, Mark and I had all schlepped over to our friend, Bob's to join the celebration they were giving for Beltane. We held a lovely  ceremony around a bonfire. Sean in a dark cloak pretending to be Strider from Lord of the Rings I suppose, mysteriously lurking in the shadows.
Whatever...
Willow, Adria, Richard C. and the other's had purchased a cake for my guy's birthday. It was fun. The infamous Bill S. was there also. Mark had chastised me for cringing when SK Bill showed up, though I'd tried to hide the fact that I think the guy's a deluded mental case.
Richard's wife, Anna had left him, so he was feeling a bit demoralized, but his girlfriend was about to give birth, which gave him something else to focus on at least. I hadn't held a lot of faith in that precarious relationship anyway. Too volatile, like sitting on a time bomb. Although they appeared to be quite happy on the surface.
Those convoluted affairs never seem to go well.
We moved again after that -back to Portland. Exhausting, moving every year. This time from a nice big house, back into my little eagle's Eyre in the sky. My sanctuary. We placed most of our things in storage. I miss my art studio and having room to spread out and create. Can't find anything now. Rather frustrating.
Oh well.... Mark and I are so harmoniously connected that we're able to move about within the flow of each other's rhythms like a graceful dance. Well.... not always so graceful. We need to keep things interesting by occasionally engaging in episodes of high drama.
My daughter's, Jan and Tegan along with Talina and Ali, Mark and I all drove to San Francisco in late August for about a week. We visited the usual tourist traps. Fisherman's Wharf, Chinatown, Alcatraz. As well as our old house on the cliff overlooking the ocean in half moon bay. House looks the same and my favorite wise old tree is still there, but everything else has changed. They put up a parking lot in the field and built a road down to the ocean. Too many people now. Jan hadn't been there since we moved here to Portland -when she was only five. She's much older than that now. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mariah_hawk/

We drove down the scenic Monterey Peninsula as far as Santa Cruz. The girls played at the amusement park on the water. They had a blast. Tegan was ticked off and not speaking (to Me) during the entire trip. Still haven't figured out what was up with that. But -oh well. Our car broke down in Bodega Bay. A $1,000 ordeal and one whole wasted day. Hate it when that stuff happens.
Mark finally realized that sk Bill is a certifiable psycho. We'd engaged in frequent conflicts over him and the self righteous, prissy little Gretchen over the past year. We'd even split up for a few days because of Mark's apparently taking their side over mine.
Anyway, Mark divested himself as president of the Knight's Templar foundation, and everything else that connected him with the little megalomaniac, Bill after we returned from Calif.
Huge sigh of relief. Bill wants to wear the "title" of Knight, but has no clue what it actually represents.

Tegan moved back to Seattle last week and is involved with a new lover. Michael. He seems rather nice. At least he has a job, an apt. and a car, unlike the last two parasites who totally demolished her life over these last six years. Not that I have any room to talk, considering my own past history. Speaking of which -I heard that my abusive ex husband, whom I was obsessed with for way too long (way back when) has recently transcended. They believe it was a heart attack. I have my doubts that he ever truly had a heart though. Weird. I knew that he was dead even before I'd heard the news. Actually conducted a search trying to find something on the internet about it, right around the same time that he'd died. Hmmm. So we're obviously more connected than I'd care to admit. We were together off and on for ten years. Last time we talked -on the phone was over three years ago. He'd called to inquire if there was a statute of limitations on alcoholism. Had been sober for a few years and wished to enjoy a glass of wine for his family reunion.
I'm still recovering from helping Tegan move. We all went out for pizza afterward. Tegan's father, Henry and his wife Moggy. My daughters and granddaughters, Mark and I. Henry was being genuinely sweet, which hasn't always been the case. Quite the contrary actually. He's been rather bitter towards me all of these years, ever since I initiated our breakup. But hopefully this is finally in the past.
Moggy on the other hand was Pretending to be sweet, but it just came off as patronizing. I experienced a few slight twinges of irritation with her in the pizza parlor, at her attempts to demonstrate how close she is to my daughters and granddaughters.

Is this from jealousy on her part, or is it just me?
 Henry and I were wrong for each other. He's perfect for her, on the other hand, the way Mark is perfect for me. None of this is a competition.
Time to move on...
Mark and I enjoyed an early thanksgiving last evening at his mother's. His brother and wife were visiting from Hawaii, and it was all very pleasant.