Update...

Mark flew here to the mainland from Maui in mid September for my birthday. We drove down to Northern California and stayed in this elegant old refurbished hotel in downtown San Francisco -walking distance to Chinatown. Bought an all day cable car pass, so we rode all over the city and played. The next day we drove down to Monterey to visit son, Jeremy. Stopped in Capitola to explore all the art galleries and shops there... A truly unique little art village.
Arrived home late Fri. night and next day -Sat. 9-19-09 celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary at daughter, Jan's. It was her wedding anniversary as well, and she'd set up a dance floor, hired a DJ with a karaoke machine, wonderful caterers and the whole nine yards. It was so much fun! Danced far into the night.
Scroll down YouTube to view ALL videos of our SF trip and anniversary party...
http://www.youtube.com/user/mariahhawk

I'm Melting...

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She's baaaack....

Has been forever since I've written in here. I've become addicted to Facebook lately.
   Anyway, lots has happened since my last entry. My husband, Mark moved to Maui over a year ago to work with his brother -building a multi-million dollar house on the ocean, and I've been traveling back and forth to visit -rather frequently.
Did a lot of painting and sculptures while I was there, but this going back and forth really screws with your momentum.
He flew here last September -2008 for about 6 weeks to help his best friend, Steve with the Oklahoma Indian degree team for the Masonic Lodge, and also to officiate at a lovely wedding up in Bremerton. We took the ferry back to Seattle from there. Stopped in to visit daughter, Tegan and her boyfriend, Michael.
Sold most of the stuff in storage at a garage sale.
And we hiked up to Bagby hot springs on my birthday. Beautiful! My Bronco broke down on the way home and we'd needed to coast all the way into Estacada. No cell phone service way out there...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/30524880@N02/
Mark and I spent Christmas '08 in Waikiki and went whale watching out on a charter boat in Jan. '09. That was truly exciting! The huge humpback whales literally rocking our boat. Must have been 6 or 7 males and one female.
His best friend, Steve Fondren transcended a few months ago, Really quite a shock. Still a young man.
My daughter, Tegan got married to Michael on June 27th '09. Mark flew here to Portland to officiate. All of these events have been documented on my youtube channel, as well as on a few of my flickr sites. http://www.flickr.com/photos/26213484@N07//
I'm currently reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" again. This will be the third! time I've read this wonderful, inspirational message for living. He speaks to your heart and soul as well as to your mind. I have several books like these that I use as my bibles, including Carolyn Myss's "Advanced Energy Anatomy." Deepak Chopra, the Seth writings, Richard Bach -who Mark and I saw and spoke to at Powell's a couple of years ago. He autographed a copy of his book for us and did a little drawing of a ferret and a butterfly on the inside cover. Very special... I also saw Deepak several years ago, speak at a church nearby. He was wonderful! Cost $10 and I had a seat in the front row...

Welcome to my Art...

My Art

Mermaid and the Sea Turtle

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Enchantress

A page I created for my Art Journal

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Have a Magical Solstice!

My latest painting, experimenting with oil pastels and mixed media (mainly because the watercolor paper turned out to be so crappy and kept falling apart, I needed to rescue it with many other new elements)...
Anyway, I'm rather pleased with the results. I love the whimsical colors.
Hope you all have an awesome Christmas/Solstice and new Year.
Love, Mariah and Mark
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A knight in shining armor...

Mark has been extremely sensitive in regards to the Bill S. and Gretchen W. affair. He was basically just very passionate about the Knight's Templar foundation and everything this involved. His thinking was that -for this order to go forth and flourish, we All needed to be in harmony. Obviously any discord would be a distraction away from the common goal.
I agreed up to a point, and attempted on way too many occasions to resolve the issues between Gretchen and myself in regards to her unfounded judgments towards my deeply personal spiritual beliefs.
As did Mark.
Unfortunately Gretchen was completely unwilling to even Discuss the situation. Consequently I ended up getting excluded from certain essential functions, because she didn't want me there. 
Mark and I engaged in frequent conflicts over these issues for several months. We had rarely ever fought before these dark forces entered our lives.
But it was something he'd just wanted so desperately. Bill had painted such an Enticing picture, that Mark was among the several otherwise highly intelligent people who were blinded.
It hit Mark really hard when he finally realized the truth. His intentions had basically been purely altruistic. I had wanted the dream as well, for Mark's sake. I knew how much it had meant to him. And he's still extremely sensitive about the subject. I'm tired of it down to my bones, and am so relieved they're both Gone. Out of our lives...

Slumbering Mermaid

Pages from my Art Journal...

Catching up...

It's been such a long time since I've written in here. Over six months!
Last time I wrote was just before Mark's birthday on May 1st. Tegan, Mark and I had all schlepped over to our friend, Bob's to join the celebration they were giving for Beltane. We held a lovely  ceremony around a bonfire. Sean in a dark cloak pretending to be Strider from Lord of the Rings I suppose, mysteriously lurking in the shadows.
Whatever...
Willow, Adria, Richard C. and the other's had purchased a cake for my guy's birthday. It was fun. The infamous Bill S. was there also. Mark had chastised me for cringing when SK Bill showed up, though I'd tried to hide the fact that I think the guy's a deluded mental case.
Richard's wife, Anna had left him, so he was feeling a bit demoralized, but his girlfriend was about to give birth, which gave him something else to focus on at least. I hadn't held a lot of faith in that precarious relationship anyway. Too volatile, like sitting on a time bomb. Although they appeared to be quite happy on the surface.
Those convoluted affairs never seem to go well.
We moved again after that -back to Portland. Exhausting, moving every year. This time from a nice big house, back into my little eagle's Eyre in the sky. My sanctuary. We placed most of our things in storage. I miss my art studio and having room to spread out and create. Can't find anything now. Rather frustrating.
Oh well.... Mark and I are so harmoniously connected that we're able to move about within the flow of each other's rhythms like a graceful dance. Well.... not always so graceful. We need to keep things interesting by occasionally engaging in episodes of high drama.
My daughter's, Jan and Tegan along with Talina and Ali, Mark and I all drove to San Francisco in late August for about a week. We visited the usual tourist traps. Fisherman's Wharf, Chinatown, Alcatraz. As well as our old house on the cliff overlooking the ocean in half moon bay. House looks the same and my favorite wise old tree is still there, but everything else has changed. They put up a parking lot in the field and built a road down to the ocean. Too many people now. Jan hadn't been there since we moved here to Portland -when she was only five. She's much older than that now. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mariah_hawk/
We drove down the scenic Monterey Peninsula as far as Santa Cruz. The girls played at the amusement park on the water. They had a blast. Tegan was ticked off and not speaking (to Me) during the entire trip. Still haven't figured out what was up with that. But -oh well. Our car broke down in Bodega Bay. A $1,000 ordeal and one whole wasted day. Hate it when that stuff happens.
Mark finally realized that sk Bill is a certifiable psycho. We'd engaged in frequent conflicts over him and the self righteous, prissy little Gretchen over the past year. We'd even split up for a few days because of Mark's apparently taking their side over mine.
Anyway, Mark divested himself as president of the Knight's Templar foundation, and everything else that connected him with the little megalomaniac, Bill after we returned from Calif.
Huge sigh of relief. Bill wants to wear the "title" of Knight, but has no clue what it actually represents.
Tegan moved back to Seattle last week and is involved with a new lover. Michael. He seems rather nice. At least he has a job, an apt. and a car, unlike the last two parasites who totally demolished her life over these last six years. Not that I have any room to talk, considering my own past history. Speaking of which -I heard that my abusive ex husband, whom I was obsessed with for way too long (way back when) has recently transcended. They believe it was a heart attack. I have my doubts that he ever truly had a heart though. Weird. I knew that he was dead even before I'd heard the news. Actually conducted a search trying to find something on the internet about it, right around the same time that he'd died. Hmmm. So we're obviously more connected than I'd care to admit. We were together off and on for ten years. Last time we talked -on the phone was over three years ago. He'd called to inquire if there was a statute of limitations on alcoholism. Had been sober for a few years and wished to enjoy a glass of wine for his family reunion.
I'm still recovering from helping Tegan move. We all went out for pizza afterward. Tegan's father, Henry and his wife Moggy. My daughters and granddaughters, Mark and I. Henry was being genuinely sweet, which hasn't always been the case. Quite the contrary actually. He's been rather bitter towards me all of these years, ever since I initiated our breakup. But hopefully this is finally in the past.
Moggy on the other hand was Pretending to be sweet, but it just came off as patronizing. I experienced a few slight twinges of irritation with her in the pizza parlor, at her attempts to demonstrate how close she is to my daughters and granddaughters.
Is this from jealousy on her part, or is it just me?
 Henry and I were wrong for each other. He's perfect for her, on the other hand, the way Mark is perfect for me. None of this is a competition.
Time to move on...
Mark and I enjoyed an early thanksgiving last evening at his mother's. His brother and wife were visiting from Hawaii, and it was all very pleasant.

Old Ghosts...

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http://www.mariahhawk.com/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mariah_hawk/

April Diary

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Mark officiated at a traditional wedding at Edgefield Lodge on Easter Sunday. http://www.flickr.com/photos/7902159@N02/ Everybody loved him. We drank too much wine and danced all night. Attended Wilda's -King George's mother's birthday party the next Sunday, April 14. Over to the SOSW afterwards for a visit. Busy, busy, busy. Friday the 20th, out on the motorcycle, until Mark was summoned by King George for a business meeting. Tegan, Jan, Ali and I went garage sailing last Sat. April 28th. Back to King George's yesterday for a sacred ceremony involving the resurrection of the Knight's Templar. The first in 700 years! A truly powerful experience. There were several Knightings for the order of the Black Tower castle in Germany. Huge events appear to be unfolding in the near future. I'm just playing catch-up here with my blog. Tegan finally got to meet the King of Hungary. What an outrageous character! I absolutely adore him. His wife is a rather elegant and graceful lady who helps create the balance... here is his web site:

http://www.constitutionalmonarchyhungary.com/

http://www.mariahhawk.com/

Full Moon

We attended a lovely full moon ceremony last night. It was a very special evening. Back to working on my art again today...Lots of news, but can't remember any of it at the moment. I'm in quiet mode.

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Hand crafted vessels

These are two of the vessels I crafted out of leather and mixed media for my healing oils.
You can view more of my art on my web site:
http://www.mariahhawk.com/

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Art Workshop and other stuff...

I need to begin preparing... to teach an art workshop this upcoming month. My art has usually been a solitary journey, so this will be something entirely new. I'm hoping it will be a positive experience for everyone involved. I've been experimenting with many techniques these last few years. My own unique designs and creations, which I'm rather reluctant to share. Like revealing a secret recipe that I've spent flesh, blood and bone perfecting. But... I opened my big mouth, so now it's important to stick to my commitment.
I'll only teach the fun and easy stuff.
Mark and I attended a lovely gathering of like minded people last evening. It was such a stimulating day from the time we first woke up until our heads hit the pillow well beyond the witching hour. And we've been invited to attend regular meetings there. I've been such a hermit lately... time to get back to where the action is I suppose...

Sail on Silver Girl

This is a watercolor I did of my daughter, Jan a few years ago. I think I like it better now than when I first painted it. The colors are so soft and silky looking.
Click on image to enlarge...
http://www.mariahhawk.com/

The tale of a Hawk

I walked into my living room a few weeks ago and there was this Huge, magnificent HAWK just sitting on the railing of my balcony, looking right at me.
I live in a high rise in downtown Portland, and have observed eagles flying several times right in front of my window here, but never actually had a hawk sit on my railing before (that I was aware of). The Hawk is my very special totem, and who I named myself after. I find this to be an extremely positive symbol for the upcoming year.
I haven't written in here for a while, got sick as a dog with some heinous virus right after I viewed the hawk, and we got slammed with a paralyzing snow storm for several days, but still prefer to keep a positive attitude. Hopefully the virus cleaned a lot of nasty toxins out of my system. At least it didn't kill me. Hmmmmmmmmmm... ?

Crone Wisdom

A new piece I created celebrating the wise woman and healer. It's time she became recognized and appreciated, as she had been long ago. This modern day America appears to have forgotten just how truly beautiful natural aging -with grace can be.
Sculpted leather, clay, mixed media mounted on a solid block of wood with the words carved into the wood.
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Merry Christmas 2006

pretty little Alyson,

It was so wonderful to meet you with your big happy, welcoming smile. It lit up the entire room, as your mommy's smile did when she was your age, and your sister, Talina's glowing sunshine, that made everything right with the world.
I hope we can get to see each other more often now. I would like this very much indeed.
Thank you for sharing your fun toys with Mark and I, without even being asked. This shows a sign of great character and generosity. The way you hugged your new jacket like it was a beloved teddy bear, tugged at my heart. May it keep you warm and cozy throughout these long winter months.
You are a precious fairy angel made of rainbows, soft golden moonbeams and a fresh morning in the forest after a spring rain.
Mark and I wish you and your family a joyful, enchanted Christmas.
Be good to your mother. She is absolutely amazing in so many ways. Your daddy works hard and would literally die for you. Your sister Talina is one of my most favorite people in the world. Her and I practically grew up together, enjoying weekly adventures ice skating, shopping, movies, hiking, Oaks Park, fairy hunting, junk food, pajama parties, laughing our heads off making up obnoxious names/stories. Fortune telling, going to the coast, singing, playing with Barbie's, the doll house and reading her favorite mermaid book, among other things.
Hopefully you and I can have just as much fun in the future.
Also your aunt, Tegan. Equally one of my most favorite people.
You have a fabulous, precious family, so know that you are deeply, deeply loved.
http://www.mariahhawk.com/index.html

Solstice

Just for the Record...

Mark and I attended my old friend, Shastra's Xmas party last evening. It was such a warm, welcoming, loving, festive environment, filled with interesting conversations involving meaningful subjects. Quite a contrast to a few previous gatherings we had been at earlier this month.
It's come to my attention (once again), and I don't understand why it's always such a big surprise... that I'm being negatively judged by certain individuals in regards to my spiritual beliefs.
Up until recently I've learned to become extremely selective about whom I share these personal values with. And why, I wonder, has it previously been such a radical notion that harmony, healing, respect for nature, the planet, people who are not of our culture... a belief in a loving, forgiving higher power that experiences life through, around and within each and every one of us... Why are these loving, well intended values considered naive, immoral or evil? and why are people who believe in these beautiful ideals labeled and persecuted?
I don't worship the devil or demons. My creed is "Harm No One" and a belief that what we send out, is returned to us three fold.
I'm definitely not gullible, I'm painfully "awake" and aware that we create our own reality, and I'm also very well acquainted and integrated with my shadow (as is expressed in some of my art). This is the part of me that speaks out for, protects and warns me of impending danger. But it's only a defense mechanism (that sometimes gets me into trouble), and Not who I am.
I find it rather interesting that these people who judge me the most harshly, are the ones who have never actually engaged in any conversation with me.
For the most part I just let this stuff go, understanding that these people are morons, and it's not really about Me, considering they don't even know me. It's their problem, not mine. But occasionally -and especially after several emotionally charged experiences (challenges) over the last couple of months, it's escalated to an ultra sensitive climax... where I finally feel a need to have my voice.
So mote it be.

One glitch after another

I've been attempting to get my new web site http://www.mariahhawk.com/index.html open for business over the last couple of days, it was working great (finally), but then Mark decided to activate the link for the guest book, and for some mysterious reason this threw the entire program into yet Another oblivious cyber tantrum. Now it refuses to publish any of my changes. Rather frustrating.
Oh well........ I can still work off site, and when we get the glitches out, it will be all ready for the "Grand Opening!"
Yes, yes, yes.

Newest Art

Here is a piece I recently created, called "Unraveling". It's a sculpted leather and rag painting on hard wood.
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My Web Site

Did I mention I have a new website at http://www.mariahhawk.com/index.html
It's still under construction, as I've been experiencing several glitches along the way, but I have a few cool things in the art gallery that are worth checking out...
http://www.mariahhawk.com/index.html

http://widget-28.slide.com/widgets/slideticker.swf" quality="high" scale="noscale" salign="l" wmode="transparent" flashvars="site=widget-

The Handfast Angel

I caught a few minutes of Sylvia Brown today on Montel Williams. This woman had shown her a photo of herself taken right after her mother's funeral service that looked almost identical to this one (except for the subject matter). Sylvia informed her that this was her angel watching over her. Check out the rainbow colored wings wrapped around us. This specific one of us was taken just before Sandra pronounced us husband and wife. The next shot was much sharper. I didn't enhance this photo at all. It's one of our originals. I'd wondered about it at first, but then figured it was just the sun, though felt connected enough to leave it in the slideshow.
Rather significant I thought.
We're going to Seaside for the weekend to rest up. Has been so chaotic around here for the last few months or so. Should be nice weather.
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A Handmade Journal

A Journal I created out of creamy leather, bronze clay and mixed media.
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My Cloaks

I attended my friend, Sandra's Croning the other evening, which had a profound effect on me for some reason and I decided to put into writing my feelings after this amazing event.
Sandra had presented me with a lovely wand that she had crafted out of owl feathers. There was a little blue feather stuck in between the bigger ones that appeared as though it were "hiding" -which her and I both felt was rather significant.
I had responded that that's probably because I do indeed tend to hide at times.
I woke up in the night after that, and reflected for a long time about my past/present relationships. Then I did a deep meditation and a releasing ritual.
Here is the metaphor that I wrote in regards to the little blue feather.

My Cloaks

Every now and again, when I'm feeling especially vulnerable, I'll wrap myself up in the cloak that I wove many, many years ago out of sharp thorns, barbed wire, icy winds and regret.
It's painful when I wear it, needless to say, and rather unattractive, but it keeps people at a distance and also provides the illusion that I'm safe.
I don't wear that bitter cloak as often these days. Just once in a while -when I'm feeling especially vulnerable, as I mentioned previously.
I wove a new one over a dozen years ago out of colorful rainbows, laughter, moonbeams and golden light.
I was forced, kicking and screaming to come out of the shadows. Forced by the Universe and by my own basic truths. Forced by the pain of yet another failed relationship and by my own essential "Self" to Awaken and to cast off the heavy dark cloak of anger, depression and despair.
This awakening was a rather painful experience in itself. But necessary for my own survival (and for those poor unfortunate innocents around me).
The light hurt my eyes at first, and I didn't want to open them. I was afraid of what I might see. I was afraid of the changes that I would most certainly be required to make. I was afraid that I might trust again and be betrayed... once again.
But this is life on planet earth. And so be it.
Yes, I trusted. And I also suffered more woundings after that, some of them very deep indeed, but I finally realized that none of these wounds were actually fatal.
Dawning this new cloak was ultimately a more joyful experience than I can ever hope to express in mere words.
Like sleeping beauty waking up to her happily ever after, it makes me feel beautiful, and joyous. People stop me right on the street to admire its radiance. They've even been known to jump out from the bushes and try to yank it off of me, wishing to bask in it's wonderful healing rays.
I wrap it around me as I spread the word that we All are blessed with a certain amount of free will to make personal choices.
I don't wear that bitter cloak as often these days. Just once in a while -when I'm feeling especially vulnerable, as I mentioned a few times previously.
One of these days I just may throw it away for good.

Awakening Crone

This is a new, totally original piece I completed a few weeks ago called "Awakening Crone". She's emerging (bursting) through the illusions. Casting off her ego and her mask
Think I'll try to create happier faces on the next ones. She looks rather disillusioned at this point. Coming into her wisdom. She's 9" wide and 12" high with the tassels, though I can make her any size. She hangs flat on the wall over my alter on a little nail. She's formed of creamy, luxurious hand dyed (by me) 100 per cent Leather -front and back with sculpted clay/bronzed and painted face. Papier mache highlights (for color and texture), as well as a felting fabric I created (my own secret recipe). Completely weather proof. Hang her inside or out.
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Cosmic Tsunami

A watercolor that I painted about a year ago. It's called Cosmic Tsunami. I've made a frame for it since this photo was taken. My frames are beautifully crafted out of leather, and mixed media. Very unique. I'll add them to my website soon -which is still under construction. We're in the process of moving right now and everything is in absolute chaos.
http://mariahhawk.com/
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My Guy, Mark

My handsome, brilliant sweetie, Mark.
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Talisman Pouch

This is one of the Talisman pouches I recently created. They have a secret little drawer that opens. Can be worn as a pendant or hung over your altar for good luck. Each one is totally unique. Sculpted out of leather & clay. You can access my web site to view more.
http://www.mariahhawk.com/index.html
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Balance

What is required here is to integrate the dark shadow with the positive aspects and find a harmonious balance...http://mariahhawk.com

The Shadow Side of Genius....

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Mark and I were discussing the shadow side of the genius the other morning, and of the spiritual guru, etc... I disclosed a rumor I'd heard somewhere? that it was really Einstein's Wife who'd originally discovered the relativity theory. Einstein just took credit and ran with it. I'd also heard that he was a womanizer. Another nasty, gossipy rumor I'm unable to back up. Alan Watts Was indeed an alcoholic though. This I am sure of. And Aleister Crowley was a rather loving, innocuous (though powerful) white magician before he decided to tread the much more extreme darker path.
There are several examples of genius's and highly evolved spiritual type gurus completely focused and brilliant in their specialty areas, and totally out of control, running amuck in other "shadow" sides of their lives.
Later we were in the kitchen cutting up some wild salmon, and he waggled this sharp little weapon that he'd purchased from his daughter in law at a Pampered Chefs party in front of my nose, remarking "Isn't this a cute little knife?"
I responded. "Not if it's sticking in your ribs it's not."
He looked at me aghast, as if I'd gone mad and asked, "What?"
I replied again, "It's not so cute if it ends up stuck in your ribs. Everything is Relative." I reminded him of a Wayne Dyer talk where Dyer was explaining relativity, using his almost bald head as an example. He'd announced, "In a soup, this is a Lot of hair." And indeed it would be a lot of hair... in a very small bowl of soup.
Both Mark and I thought all of this was rather funny in a twisted sort of way, and laughed.
Anyway...
I'm just beginning with this blog thing. Started it a while back and then couldn't locate it again, until now.
I have a new Web site- MariahHawk.com that is also in process (hopefully I'll git er done someday soon). Very cool if you enjoy different kinds of Art, or if you're getting married (or handfasted) in the future. Or if you need a counselor. I wear many hats. Check out my handmade archetype sculptures in the art gallery, speaking of our shadows. They're like nothing I've ever seen before.
There's an example above. His cloak and wings are of wonderful leather, has a knit outfit, face, hands, feet are of handsculpted clay. All my own design.

Archetypes

This is a description of the Archetypes.
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The Handfasting

These are photos of my guy, Mark & I taken about two years ago...
We also officiate at wedding & handfasting ceremonies
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http://www.mariahhawk.com/index.html